In the Philippines, the unresolved case and issue of teenage pregnancy, pre-marital sex, rape, sex violence, sex trafficking and other sexual related cases are increasing. The major concerns and top priority of the Philippine government are the increase of teenage pregnancy and HIV cases. Instead of looking at the bigger picture of the problem, I’d rather look for the root cause to discover where these problems all started. This led me to research the effects of porn on adolescent males and I found out that the Philippines ranks as #1 in terms of access to porn.

Pornography and early sexual experience are the main contributing factors of sexual problems among the young people today. Some of the first victims of this industry are children who are abused at the hands of others who have become addicted to the effects of porn. Then, in late childhood, the effects of porn continue into the formative years of adolescence where their brains and habits become programmed. Both of these stages are vulnerable and essential.

The Dangers of Repression

Youth who struggle with these effects of porn are having to understand themselves in light of the potentially confusing sexual feelings they are experiencing. But the sensitive issues of porn, sexuality and even masturbation, are taboo in most evangelical churches in the Philippines. This fostered repression communicates to Filipino youth that sexual feelings as a whole are not acceptable. Counselors and Psychotherapist will tell how damaging this kind of repression can be. Dr. Archibald Hart in his book “The Sexual Man”, gave four effects of long periods of repression:

1. Male adolescent develops a wrong attitude toward sex
2. Male adolescent learns to misuse fantasy
3. Male adolescent develops sexual fetishes or “preferences”
4. Male adolescent develops “lovemaps” – a specifically internalized map of what does and what does not cause sexual arousal. As boys become aware of their sexual feelings they notice that they are more likely to become aroused by specific type of people. Others have little or no sexual attraction to them.

When youth in our churches repress the effects of porn and avoid struggling with them in light of their faith and spiritual community, the repression will find a negative outlet that is not healthy. The most damaging and dangerous combination is when Filipino youth who belong to a dysfunctional family are also at the same time struggling with the effects of porn.

In the same way that drugs and an excessive use of alcohol can create an addiction, damaging sexual activity and pornography can lead to similar kinds of addictions. These sexual activities are a temporary anesthesia to find relief from stress, pain, anxiety, depression, fear and other negative feelings. This can also create a pattern that will lessen or paralyze emotional responses. Our task as ministers is to understand human nature and its development in a way that avoids an environment of judgment and condemnation that could cause those who struggle with the effects of pornography to repress it.

Here are a few practical steps for how we can help young people

• Sit with them and listen. To listen and empathize with them is a sign of openness and belonging. They will feel safe and secure.
• Journey with them in their struggles. To be with them in times of their distress and failure, lets them feel that they are not alone in their struggle.
• Understand them and their feelings as we understand our self. Look at them as a broken people who are seeking wholeness. They are like us who are seeking a completeness in Christ. It is also essential that we as ministers are aware of our own feelings, that we know ourselves before we engage with them.
• Understand the nature of their struggle and learn from it. It is good to know where they are coming from so that we may understand and avoid judging them.
• Encourage them to reconcile with their past mistakes. Doing a reconciliation moment with them through “self-examen” will help them to grieve the damage they’ve caused in the past, so they can begin to process any feelings of loss and hurt.
• Empower them to have a positive view of themselves. Reminding them that God’s grace sets them free from guilt and shame is essential to their understanding of the love of Christ and their need for daily repentance through self and conscious examen.
• Create healthy emotional boundaries. As ministers to those who are struggling, we must create healthy emotional boundaries to avoid countertransference. Remember: The goal is to listen and empathize in a healthy relationship for both you and those you serve.

Juan Carlos Tulalian is a graduate student currently taking Master of Arts in Youth Studies at Alliance Graduate School, Philippines. Previously, he served as Youth Minister at Bayombong Evangelical Alliance Church in Nueva Vizcaya and now he is currently serving as facilitator & youth counselor at Movers Community. Juan is an online gamer, music lover of any genre and a food lover.