I Wonder: A Reflection On Mary

January 14th, 2010

I often wonder, really wonder what it must have been like for Mary when she found out she was pregnant. She was a teenager and she was a virgin…so how could it be? God sent the angel Gabriel to tell her the news.  I'm guessing that if something like that would have happened to me I would have freaked out.  Not Mary!  She may have been frightened, but she responded that she was the Lord's servant  and she was willing to accept whatever God's plans were for her, She seemed calm and allowed herself to be vessel for the amazing work of God.

I wonder if Mary really knew the enormity of the situation. She was having the son of God.  She was to be the mother of the Messiah, Jesus Christ. She was just a teenager, yet she understood the magnitude of her calling.  Her soul praised God for the gift.  wonder what it felt like when Mary first held Jesus in her arms, on that night long ago in Bethlehem.  Did she comprehend that Jesus was a gift from God to all of humanity, that He was the one who would deliver us from all things evil? Did Mary understand this amazing opportunity she had been given any more when the wise men came to worship her son? Did she understand the gifts that they brought-the gold, frankincense, and myrrh?   The Bible says she treasured all these things in her heart.

I wonder what Mary must have felt when they lost Jesus at the temple when he was young.   Omigosh, I lost God’s son!   When she asked him where he was, what was it like to hear his response, “You should have known I'd be in my Father's house?” Did she just want to yell with pride from the roof tops who her son really was  Or was she befuddled?  Overwhelmed?

I wonder what it was like when Mary saw Jesus turn water into wine at the wedding in Cana.  It was she that told Him the wine was gone, and He who questioned her as to what business it was of His. Mary knew what He could do. Mary was there for Jesus’ first miracle.  Something made people take notice that Jesus was different, that maybe Jesus was more than human.  Did Mary truly understood the divinity of her Son at this point?

As Jesus’ ministry grew and the number of His followers increased, I wonder how Mary felt.  Did her heart break when Jesus came to His own hometown and people took offense to him? 
Mary knew her Son’s powers, didn’t she just want to go and scream to her neighbors, “Do you know who my son really is?”

I wonder what Mary must have felt in her heart the day that Jesus was nailed to the cross?  What it must have been like to see her son scream in pain, knowing there was no way she could quiet his cries?   The helplessness she must have felt when the nails went through His wrists!  Her pain and horror were written on her face as she watched her precious Son die on a cross.  Maybe her cheeks burned with humiliation as they taunted her firstborn.  .  When her Son said “Father forgive them , for they do not know what they are doing,” from the cross, could Mary find the forgiveness, too?  Or was her heart so broken as she watched her son, the Savior of the world, take His last breathe that she was filled with bitterness?    After all, she knew who Jesus really was. Who else but his mother could feel all those emotions at once? 

When she walked to the tomb with the other Mary and Salome to anoint His body, what did she think when the stone was rolled away?  Did she remember what He said about raising His temple in three days?  Could she believe in all that she hoped for?  As she waited in the upper room with over 100 others, was she afraid for her life and hoping to see her Son alive?   When He appeared, elation must have filled her bones.  Her Son had risen again! 

Then Mary watched her Son return to His Heavenly Father.   What words could describe such an experience?  As she embraced the disciples are her “other sons”, did her heart ache for the One who ascended into the sky? 

I wonder if she really understood what was going to happen when she first heard the news that she was having God’s only Son.  I wonder if she understood it any better 33 years later.  I wonder.


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