Intimacy: I Reject Thee!

January 14th, 2010

Intimacy. What is it about that word that scares us so much? Why do we have to feel like we can’t really turn to someone and open up? Where is it that we can fulfill the desire of being accepted for who we are if we are not willing to express ourselves from where we are? Are you willing to search after God and let him develop in you an intimate relationship that accepts you for who you are with your mask removed? Are you willing to try to seek after someone and develop a similar relationship?

I was driving a friend back to his apartment after an enjoyable evening with a group of friends and he and I started discussing some very personal things. We spent 45 minutes talking about things that are very deep and personal, but both of us walked away from that conversation feeling like we had just been in the presence of God. I felt like I was David dancing naked in front of God. I felt so comfortable with this guy that I could talk about anything with him.  He made a comment to me that sent shivers down my spine, “Brian, I feel like I can talk to you about anything.” Have you ever had someone say that to you? There is an old saying that goes something like this, “I want a best friend who I can just sit with and not speak and feel like we just had the best conversation in the world.” That’s how I feel about this guy. He and I have such a deep connection with one another that we can share anything, no matter how embarrassing, and feel like we won’t be rejected. 

Have you ever had this type of relationship with anyone before? It is the most amazing thing I could want for my life. I indeed do feel as though I am in the presence of God when I talk with him. I have come to terms that this is the type of relationship that God seeks after with us. He wants us to feel so comfortable that we can talk with him about anything. Philippians 4:6 states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”


What an amazing thought! God asks of us to be so intimate with Him that we present our deepest worries and fears to him in prayer. I don’t know about you, but when I worry about things and am scared my first thought is not to talk to someone about it. I feel like if I am worrying about it and talk with someone about my problem; it will show a weakness in me. To be able to talk with God about our anxieties requires such an intimate level of love.


What stops us from expressing this type of intimacy with someone around us? Is it a fear of rejection? Is it a fear of being exposed for having faults?  

Let’s look at it this way. The first relationship that the Bible talks about is Adam and Eve. Initially, not having any faults, they were blameless in front of God. That is, until the fall of man. This is where sin came into play and broke that perfect relationship between them and God. It caused them to sense they were naked, “Ah! I’m naked!” They ended up hiding in the fig trees from God because they did not want to be exposed for what they felt they really were, human. God still sought after them and wanted a relationship with them regardless of their faults. He wants the same thing from you and me. He wants us to have a deep connection with Him and with other people that affects the deep part of our souls.

But where does that begin? What do I have to do to begin to have that type of relationship with God?

I would like to offer you the suggestion my friend described to me. He referred to Adam and Eve and the fig tree. He said that we are in the same way trying to cover our nakedness. Let’s begin to pull away those fig trees from our bodies and expose who we are. Now, I know that sounds a lot easier said than done, but try it in small steps. First try it with God. Pray to him about things in your life that may be causing you to feel like you have to hide from him. For me, it was my emotions. I was afraid to let myself feel my emotions because I thought it would make me a weaker person. I was wrong. In fact, God has allowed me to feel my emotions and it has been the greatest experience of my life. I removed that fig branch from who I really was and exposed that small part of my life to God.

Intimacy is such a scary thing for us all. We are afraid that if we remove the fig branch and allow someone to see who we really are we won’t be accepted. That is a real and legitimate fear. When it comes to matters of the heart, everyone is hesitant to address those issues. The matters of the heart are the toughest place to deal with things because it is the most vulnerable place we have. It might help you to start journaling. I started there. It allowed me to express myself in a setting I know was safe and secure and that no one would ever see but me and God. I then began to want to develop relationships with people whom I know I could trust. It did require me to feel a little uncomfortable at first, but with a little effort those relationships have turned into the most amazing and fulfilling experiences of my life, all because I was willing to try and be intimate with God and someone else.

I would like to close with this thought. I have had many broken relationships with people. It does hurt. I protected myself from people because I was scared to expose myself from behind the fig tree. When I did, it felt like this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. God was and is watching out for me through this entire process of revealing myself to people. He will do it for you as well. I want to encourage you to take that step and slowly expose yourself from behind your fig tree.


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